Glossary of Death, Dying, Funeral and Grief Terms

132 terms

These are plain-language definitions meant to help you find your footing. They are general information, not legal, medical or religious advice. Laws and prices differ by state and by country, and traditions differ within every faith, so ask your own care team, attorney, funeral director or faith leader about your situation.

A

Active dying

The final days or hours of life, when the body is shutting down. Breathing, skin color, alertness and appetite often change, and most of these changes are a normal part of the process.

Advance care planning

Thinking about the care you would want if you became too sick to speak for yourself, talking it over with the people close to you, and writing your wishes down. An advance directive is the record of that process.

Advance directive

An umbrella term for the legal papers that say how you want to be treated if you cannot speak for yourself. It usually includes a living will and the name of the person you choose to make health decisions for you. The forms and rules are different in each state.

Alkaline hydrolysis (aquamation)

A flameless alternative to cremation that uses water, warmth and an alkaline solution to gradually break the body down to bone, which is then processed much like cremated remains. It is also called water cremation or aquamation. It is allowed in a number of states but not all, so ask your funeral director.

All Souls' Day

A day, observed on November 2 in the Catholic tradition, set aside to pray for the souls of people who have died. Many families visit and decorate graves. In many Latino communities it overlaps with Día de los Muertos.

Ambiguous loss

A loss that has no clear ending or answer, so it is hard to grieve in the usual way. Researcher Pauline Boss describes two kinds. In one the person is missing but still very present in your mind, and in the other the person is with you but changed, for example by dementia or addiction.

Ancestor veneration

The practice of honoring and remembering family members who have died, with offerings, prayers, altars or visits to graves. It appears in many cultures and faiths, including Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Hindu and many Indigenous traditions.

Anointing of the Sick

A sacrament of the Catholic Church in which a priest anoints a seriously ill person with blessed oil and prays for them. It is for anyone facing serious illness or growing frailty, not only someone at the point of death. Other Christian traditions have their own anointing rites.

Related: Last rites, Viaticum

Anticipatory grief

The sorrow you feel before a death, when a long illness or decline makes the loss seem near. It can bring many of the same feelings as grief after a death, and it does not take away your grief afterward. Pet owners feel it too.

Related: Grief, Hospice, Pet hospice

Antyesti

The Hindu funeral rites, which usually end in cremation. They are the last of the life-cycle rites called samskaras, and the details vary with region, family and community.

At-need

Funeral arrangements made after a death has occurred, as opposed to planning ahead.

Autopsy

A medical examination of the body after death to learn the cause of death or to answer questions about an illness. Some deaths require one by law, and a family can sometimes request one. Ask the funeral director or the medical examiner's office how it may affect viewing and timing.

B

Bardo

In Tibetan Buddhism, an in-between state, including the time between death and the next rebirth, which is traditionally described as lasting 49 days. A lama may read from the Bardo Thödol (often called the Tibetan Book of the Dead) to guide the person through it.

Basic services fee

A fee a funeral home charges for its overhead and basic work, such as planning, paperwork and coordination. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, it is the one fee you generally cannot decline.

Beneficiary

A person or organization named to receive something, such as property from a will or trust, or money from a life insurance policy or retirement account. Beneficiary forms on accounts usually override the will, so it helps to keep them current.

Related: Will, Trust, Non-probate assets

Bereavement

The time of loss after someone you love has died. It is the period in which you grieve and mourn.

Related: Grief, Mourning, Bereavement leave

Bereavement leave

Time off work after a death in your family. In the United States there is no federal law requiring employers to give paid bereavement leave, so it usually depends on your employer. Some states, such as California, require employers to allow a few days of leave.

Body donation

Giving your body after death to a medical school or research program for teaching and study. It is different from organ donation, and programs have their own rules about acceptance, so register ahead and tell your family.

Related: Organ donation, Cremation

Burial vault

A container, usually concrete or metal, that fully encloses a casket in the ground. Many cemeteries require a vault or a grave liner, but state law generally does not.

C

Casket (coffin)

The box that holds the body for a funeral or burial. You can buy one from the funeral home or elsewhere. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, a funeral home cannot refuse a casket you bought elsewhere or charge you a fee for using it.

Celebration of life

A gathering that honors a person with stories, music, food and favorite things, often in a lighter tone than a traditional funeral. It can be held at nearly any place and time, with or without the body present.

Related: Memorial service, Funeral, Eulogy

Cemetery plot

A space in a cemetery for burial. Buying one is separate from buying funeral services, and cemeteries have their own rules about markers, vaults and what can be placed on a grave.

Cheyne-Stokes breathing

A breathing pattern near the end of life in which breaths get deeper and faster, then slower and shallower, with pauses of a few seconds before it starts again. It can be unsettling to watch, but it usually does not seem to bother the person.

Codicil

A separate, signed document that changes, adds to or revokes part of an existing will. It does not replace the will itself.

Columbarium

A building or structure, indoors or outdoors, with small compartments called niches that hold urns of cremated remains.

Related: Niche, Inurnment, Urn

Comfort care

Care that focuses on easing pain and other symptoms and helping a person feel as peaceful as possible, instead of trying to cure the illness. Hospice is built around comfort care, and palliative care can move toward it when treatment is no longer helping.

Related: Hospice, Palliative care

Committal

The closing moment of a funeral or service, when the body is lowered into the grave, placed in a crypt or niche, or sent to cremation. It may include a prayer or a few words.

Related: Graveside service, Interment

Communal cremation (pets)

Several pets are cremated together and the remains are not returned to families. It usually costs less than private cremation.

Complicated grief

A term for grief that stays very intense for a long time and keeps a person from getting through daily life. It has also been called persistent complex bereavement disorder, and today the diagnosis clinicians use is prolonged grief disorder. Therapy with a counselor who understands grief can help.

Condolence

An expression of sympathy to someone who is grieving, whether spoken, written or sent as a gift. Simple and honest words are usually the best.

Continuing bonds

The idea that staying connected to the person who died, through memories, talking to them, keeping their things or rituals, is a normal part of grief and not a failure to "move on." The term comes from a 1996 book by Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman and Steven Nickman. Many people also keep this bond with a pet who has died.

Coroner and medical examiner

Officials who investigate deaths that are sudden, unexpected or unexplained. Each state sets its own system and rules, and in most states a coroner does not have to be a doctor.

Related: Autopsy, Death certificate

Cremated remains (cremains)

What is left after cremation, mostly bone fragments that have been processed to a fine, sand-like texture. They are often called ashes. They can be kept in an urn, buried, placed in a niche, scattered where permitted, or made into keepsakes.

Related: Cremation, Urn, Inurnment

Cremation

Reducing the body to bone fragments with intense heat, which are then processed into cremated remains. A casket is not required by law for cremation, and a simple alternative container can be used.

Crypt

A space in a mausoleum or other building, above ground, that holds a casket or cremated remains.

Related: Mausoleum, Entombment

D

Death cafe

A relaxed, drop-in gathering where people meet, often over tea and cake, to talk openly about death. It is a conversation, not grief counseling or a support group.

Death certificate

The official record of a death. A doctor, medical examiner or coroner supplies the cause of death, and the funeral director usually completes and files the certificate. The exact steps vary by state. Banks, insurers and agencies often ask for certified copies, so many families order several.

Death doula (end-of-life doula)

A trained helper who offers non-medical comfort and practical support to a person who is dying and to their family, from planning ahead through the final days and sometimes into early grief. Doulas do not replace doctors or hospice nurses.

Related: Hospice, Advance care planning

Death rattle

A wet, gurgling or rattling sound some people make near the end of life when saliva and mucus collect in the throat and the body can no longer clear them. It sounds distressing, but it generally does not seem to bother the person, and a care team can suggest ways to ease it.

Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

A holiday on November 1 and 2, honoring loved ones who have died, observed in Mexico, parts of Central and South America and in Latino communities elsewhere. Families build altars called ofrendas with photos, flowers, food and candles. It is a joyful, loving remembrance with roots in Indigenous Mesoamerican traditions that blended with Catholic observances.

Direct cremation

Cremation soon after death, without a viewing, visitation or funeral ceremony with the body present. Families often hold a memorial service later. It usually costs less than other options.

Disenfranchised grief

Grief that other people do not recognize or support, so you may feel you have no right to mourn. Researcher Kenneth Doka named it in 1989. It can follow the loss of an ex-partner, a pet, a pregnancy, a friend, or a death surrounded by stigma. Your grief counts.

DNI (do not intubate)

A medical order saying you do not want a breathing tube placed if you cannot breathe on your own. It is separate from a DNR order, and a person can have one without the other.

DNR (do not resuscitate)

A medical order saying that if your heart or breathing stops, you do not want CPR or other attempts to restart them. It is written by a doctor or other qualified clinician, and it does not mean you stop receiving other care.

Dual process model

A way of understanding grief developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut in the late 1990s. It suggests healthy grieving moves back and forth between facing the loss and taking a break to handle daily life, and both are normal.

Durable power of attorney

A legal document naming someone to handle your money or legal matters, or in the health care version your medical decisions, if you cannot. "Durable" means it stays in effect if you become incapacitated. It ends at death, and then the executor takes over.

Related: Health care proxy, Executor

E

Embalming

Treating the body with chemicals to slow its natural changes for a short time, often so it can be viewed. Federal law does not require embalming, and most states do not require it either except in certain circumstances. Many funeral homes require it for a public viewing with an open casket, but you can ask about a private family viewing without it.

Endowment care (perpetual care)

Money that cemetery property buyers pay into a fund, held in trust to pay for the long-term upkeep of the grounds.

Related: Cemetery plot, Interment

Entombment

Placing a body in a mausoleum crypt instead of burying it in the ground.

Related: Mausoleum, Crypt, Interment

Estate

Everything a person owns when they die, including money, property and belongings, minus what they owed.

Ethical will

A letter or recording in which someone shares their values, life lessons, blessings and hopes with loved ones. It is not a legal document. The practice has deep roots in Jewish tradition, and today people of many faiths, and none, write them.

Related: Will, Eulogy

Eulogy

A speech or reading that honors the life of the person who has died, usually given at a funeral or memorial service. It can be short, and it can include laughter as well as tears. The word comes from the Greek eulogia, meaning praise, or quite literally "good words." Many eulogies are about 3 to 5 minutes long.

F

FTC Funeral Rule

A federal rule that protects people buying funeral goods and services. It gives you the right to get prices by phone, to see an itemized General Price List to keep, to choose only the items you want, to buy a casket elsewhere, and to receive a written statement of what you selected before you pay.

Funeral

A ceremony honoring the person who died, held with the body present, often followed by burial or cremation. Families shape funerals to fit their faith, culture and wishes.

Funeral celebrant

A trained person who plans and leads a funeral or memorial service that fits the person's life and beliefs, often for families who are not part of a religious community.

Related: Celebration of life, Eulogy

Funeral director

A licensed professional who helps with the care of the body, paperwork, permits, planning and the service itself. A good one explains your choices clearly and does not pressure you.

G

General Price List (GPL)

The itemized list of prices every funeral home must give you to keep when you meet in person to talk about funeral arrangements, services or prices. It lets you compare homes and choose only what you want.

Ghusl

In Islam, the ritual washing of the body of a person who has died, done with care and respect, usually by family members or community members of the same gender. It is a form of purification and honor.

Grave liner

A concrete cover that goes over a casket in the ground to keep the earth from sinking. A burial vault fully encloses the casket, and a liner does not. Cemeteries often require one or the other, even though state law generally does not.

Graveside service

A short ceremony held at the cemetery at the time of burial, often with a few words, a prayer or a reading.

Related: Funeral, Interment, Committal

Green burial

Burial without embalming chemicals or a concrete vault, in a biodegradable casket, shroud or no container, often with a simple natural marker. Some cemeteries allow only part of this, so ask exactly what a "green" or "natural" section permits.

Grief

The natural response to losing someone or something you love. It can include sadness, anger, numbness, guilt, relief, exhaustion and even physical symptoms, and it looks different for everyone.

Grief burst

A sudden wave of grief that can hit even years after a loss, often set off by a song, a smell or a date. It is common and does not mean you are going backward.

H

Headstone (marker)

A stone or plaque that marks a grave or niche and records the person's name and dates, and often a few words. Cemeteries set rules about size, material and placement.

Related: Cemetery plot, Niche

Health care proxy

A person you choose to make medical decisions for you if you cannot. It may also be called a health care agent, health care surrogate or durable power of attorney for health care, depending on the state. Choose someone who knows your wishes and will speak up for them.

Heir

A person who is entitled by law to inherit when someone dies without a will. A beneficiary is a person named in a will or on an account, and the two are not always the same.

Related: Intestate, Beneficiary

Home funeral

Caring for a person's body at home after death, with family and friends taking part, often with help from a guide or funeral director. Most states let families do this themselves, but some require a funeral director for certain steps, so check the rules where you live.

Hospice

Comfort-focused care for people with a serious illness who are expected to live about six months or less if the illness follows its usual course, along with support for their families. A team of nurses, doctors, aides, social workers, chaplains and volunteers usually comes to wherever the person lives. Medicare covers hospice for people who qualify. Medicaid and private insurance may cover it too, depending on your state and plan.

I

Immediate burial

Burial soon after death without a viewing, visitation or funeral ceremony with the body present.

In-home pet euthanasia

A veterinarian comes to your home so your pet can pass away peacefully in a familiar place, surrounded by family. Many people find it easier on both pet and family.

Interment

The final placement of a body or cremated remains. It covers burial in the ground, entombment in a mausoleum and inurnment of cremated remains.

Related: Inurnment, Entombment, Committal

Intestate

Dying without a valid will. In that case, state law decides who inherits, usually starting with a spouse and children and then other close relatives.

Inurnment

Placing cremated remains in an urn, or placing the urn in its final spot, such as a niche in a columbarium.

Related: Interment, Niche, Urn

J

Janazah

The Islamic funeral, including the washing and shrouding of the body, the communal funeral prayer, and burial, which is traditionally done as soon as possible. Practices vary among communities.

K

Kaddish

A Jewish prayer praising God that mourners say in services. It does not mention death. Traditionally, mourners recite it for 11 months after the death of a parent and for 30 days for a spouse, child or sibling, and then each year on the anniversary of the death.

Kafan

In Islam, the simple white cloth in which the body is wrapped after washing. Its plainness reflects that all people are equal before God.

Related: Ghusl, Janazah

L

Last rites

A traditional name for the sacraments a Catholic receives near death. In order, these are confession, Anointing of the Sick and Viaticum (Holy Communion). If you are with someone who would want a priest, call a priest or the hospital or hospice chaplain early.

Letters of administration

A court document that gives someone the authority to manage an estate when there is no will, or when no executor can serve.

Letters testamentary

A document issued by a probate court that shows the executor named in a will has the legal authority to act for the estate. Banks and other institutions often ask to see it.

Living trust

A trust you set up while you are alive, often so your property can pass to your beneficiaries without going through probate. It is also called a revocable trust, because you can change or end it during your lifetime.

Related: Trust, Probate, Beneficiary

Living will

A written statement of the medical care you would and would not want if you were seriously ill and could not speak for yourself. It is one part of an advance directive.

M

Mass card

A card from a Catholic parish or mission office saying that a Mass will be offered for the person who died. The person who requests it usually makes a small offering, then gives or sends the card to the family.

Mausoleum

An above-ground building where caskets or urns are placed in crypts or niches.

Related: Crypt, Niche, Entombment

Medical aid in dying (MAID)

A practice allowed by law in some U.S. states and in Washington, D.C., in which a terminally ill adult may ask a doctor for a prescription for medication to end their life and then take it themselves. Oregon passed the first such law in the United States, in 1997. Under Oregon's law, for example, the person must be 18 or older, able to make and communicate their own health care decisions, and have a terminal illness expected to lead to death within six months, and the person, not the doctor, takes the medication. Rules differ from state to state and change over time, so your state health department is the place to check. Some people and some laws call it "physician-assisted suicide" or "assisted dying," and people hold deeply different views about it. Medical groups are divided too: the American Medical Association and the American College of Physicians oppose it, while the American Public Health Association supports it. It differs from euthanasia, in which a doctor or other clinician gives the medication. Whatever a person is weighing, their doctor, hospice or palliative care team, social worker or chaplain can talk it through with them and their family.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, U.S.). Veterans: dial 988 and press 1. Outside the U.S., find a local line at findahelpline.com. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

Memorial service

A ceremony honoring the person who died, held without the body present. It may take place days, weeks or months later, which can give family time to travel and plan.

Mottling

Blotchy, lace-like purple or reddish-blue patches that can appear on the skin, often starting on the feet and legs, as circulation slows near the end of life. It is a normal sign that the body is changing.

Mourning

The outward expression of grief, such as rituals, ceremonies, wearing certain clothes, visiting a grave or sharing stories. Grief is what you feel inside, and mourning is how it is shared.

Related: Grief, Bereavement, Shiva

N

Natural organic reduction (human composting)

A process in which the body is placed in a vessel with plant material such as wood chips and straw and, over several weeks, gradually becomes soil. The family may be able to receive the soil. It is legal in a growing number of states, so ask a funeral director what is allowed where you live.

Near-death experience (NDE)

A vivid experience that some people report after coming close to death, such as a cardiac arrest. People describe calm and peace, seeing loved ones who have died, or looking back over their life. Researchers are still studying what causes them, and they are deeply meaningful to many people who have them.

Niche

A small space, in a columbarium, mausoleum or wall, where an urn of cremated remains is placed.

Related: Columbarium, Inurnment

Non-probate assets

Property that passes to someone outside of probate, such as life insurance, retirement accounts or bank accounts with a named beneficiary, and property owned jointly with right of survivorship.

Related: Beneficiary, Probate

O

Obituary

A notice of a death, often with a short story of the person's life and information about services. Many families now post obituaries online. Be careful with personal details such as full birth dates and home addresses.

Related: Eulogy, Funeral

Obon

A summer festival in Japan, usually in July or August depending on the region, honoring the spirits of ancestors, who are believed to return to visit their families. Families clean graves and light lanterns to welcome and send off the spirits, and communities join in the Bon dance.

Ofrenda

A temporary altar made for Día de los Muertos with photos, favorite foods, candles, flowers and keepsakes, to welcome loved ones home. Bright orange marigolds (cempasúchil) are traditionally used to guide spirits.

Organ donation

A decision to give organs or tissue after death to help someone who is ill. You can register in your state and tell your family, since they will often be asked to confirm. Donation does not usually prevent a funeral with the body present.

Outer burial container

The general name for a grave liner or burial vault, which surrounds the casket in the ground. Cemeteries often require one, but most state laws do not.

Related: Grave liner, Burial vault

P

Pallbearer

One of the people chosen to carry or walk beside the casket at a funeral. Honorary pallbearers are friends or relatives asked to take part without carrying.

Related: Funeral, Graveside service

Palliative care

Care that focuses on easing the symptoms and stress of a serious illness for people of any age. It can begin at diagnosis and continue alongside treatments meant to cure the illness. Hospice is a specific type of palliative care for the end of life.

Palliative sedation

Medication used near the end of life to lower a person's awareness, sometimes into sleep, when severe suffering such as pain or breathlessness cannot be eased any other way. It is a carefully supervised medical decision meant to relieve suffering, not to shorten life, and it differs from medical aid in dying.

Personal representative

The legal term in many states for the person who manages an estate, whether named in a will (the executor) or appointed by the court.

Pet aquamation

A water-based, flameless alternative to cremation for pets. The pet's body is gradually broken down using water, warmth and an alkaline solution, and the family receives a soft, sand-like ash. Availability varies by state.

Pet hospice

Comfort-focused care for a pet with a terminal illness, so the pet can live comfortably at home or in a care facility for the time they have left. It includes pain relief and, when the time comes, the option of a planned, peaceful goodbye.

Pet loss

The grief of losing a companion animal. For many people a pet is family, and the grief can be as deep as for any loved one, even when others do not seem to understand.

Pet trust

A legal arrangement that sets aside money for the care of a pet if you die or can no longer care for them, with a named person to carry out your wishes. All 50 states and Washington, D.C., have pet trust laws, but the rules vary.

Related: Trust, Will, Pet loss

POLST

Short for Physician (or Provider) Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment, sometimes called a portable medical order. It is a signed medical order for people who are seriously ill or very frail that states which treatments they do and do not want, such as CPR, and emergency responders can follow it. It is different from an advance directive, which is for all adults, and the name of the form differs by state.

Pre-need

Funeral or cemetery arrangements, and sometimes payment, made ahead of time. The FTC Funeral Rule covers pre-need as well as at-need arrangements, and state laws add their own protections. Read the contract carefully and ask what happens to your money if you move or change your mind.

Private cremation (pets)

Your pet is cremated alone, so you receive only your pet's remains. Ask each provider exactly how they keep pets separate, since terms differ.

Probate

The court process that confirms a will is valid and oversees settling the estate, including paying debts and taxes and passing property to the people entitled to it. Not every estate has to go through probate, and almost every state has simpler steps for small estates.

Prolonged grief disorder

A diagnosis, added to the DSM-5-TR in 2022, for intense grief that lasts much longer than expected and keeps a person from living their life. For adults, at least 12 months must have passed since the death, and for children and teens, at least six months. In ICD-11, the World Health Organization's system, it requires more than six months and grief that clearly goes beyond what is expected in the person's culture and context. Most grieving people do not have it, and treatment can help those who do.

Q

Qingming

A spring festival, in early April, when many Chinese families clean and tend the graves of ancestors and leave offerings such as flowers, food and incense. It is also a time for family outings, and it mixes grief with the renewal of spring. It is sometimes called Tomb-Sweeping Day.

Related: Obon, Ancestor veneration

R

Rainbow Bridge

A phrase for an imagined place where pets wait for the people who loved them, from a widely shared poem. It is not part of any religion's teaching, and some people find it very comforting while others do not. Both responses are fine. The poem circulated for years with no author named, and research reported by National Geographic traced it to Edna Clyne-Rekhy, who wrote it in 1959 after her dog died.

Related: Pet loss, Continuing bonds

Respite care

Short-term care that gives family caregivers a rest. Hospice teams can arrange short inpatient stays for this purpose. Caregivers who are worn out are not failing.

Related: Hospice, Anticipatory grief

S

Secondary loss

The other losses that come along with a death, such as income, a home, routines, friendships, a role like "wife" or "caregiver," or plans for the future. They can cause grief of their own.

Related: Grief, Ambiguous loss, Grief burst

Sheloshim

In Jewish tradition, the 30 days after burial, a less restrictive period of mourning that follows the first seven days (shiva). Mourners usually return to work and daily life but continue to observe some customs.

Related: Shiva, Kaddish, Yahrzeit

Shiva

In Judaism, the first seven days of mourning after the burial, when close relatives (traditionally a parent, spouse, child or sibling) stay together, often at home, and friends and community bring food and company. Mirrors are often covered and mourners often sit on low seats. Customs vary among Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and other communities.

Shraddha

In Hinduism, a ceremony honoring a deceased ancestor, performed at set times to help support their spirit's journey.

Related: Antyesti, Ancestor veneration

Stages of grief

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described five stages in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, which came from interviews with people who were dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. She later said they were not a fixed order or a checklist. People may skip some, return to others or feel several at once, and many never move through them in neat steps.

Suicide loss survivor

A person who has lost someone to suicide. Survivors often feel shock, guilt, anger or questions with no answers, and they may feel shame or silence from others. Support groups for people bereaved by suicide, and counselors who understand it, can help. If you are having thoughts of suicide yourself, please reach out right now to the line below.

Survivor guilt

A painful feeling of guilt for being alive, or for something you did or did not do, when someone else has died. It is common, and it is a sign of how much you cared, not proof that you did anything wrong.

Related: Grief, Suicide loss survivor

T

Tahara

In Jewish tradition, the ritual washing and preparation of the body for burial, done with great respect, usually by a community group called the chevra kadisha. The body is then dressed in a simple white shroud, the same for everyone.

Terminal restlessness

Agitation, restless movements or confusion that can occur in the last days of life. It can have causes that can be treated, such as pain or anxiety, so tell the care team. A calm voice, soft touch and reassurance often help.

Thanatology

The study of death, dying and grief. The word comes from Thanatos, the Greek word for death. Thanatologists include doctors, nurses, psychologists, counselors, chaplains and researchers.

Related: Death cafe, Grief

Trust

A legal arrangement in which a person (the trustee) holds and manages property for the benefit of someone else (the beneficiary), under rules set by the person who created it.

U

Urn

A container for cremated remains. It can be kept at home, buried, placed in a niche or used in a scattering ceremony, and many are made of materials that break down naturally.

V

Viaticum

In the Catholic tradition, Holy Communion given to a dying person, as "provision for the journey." It is traditionally the last sacrament someone receives.

Viewing

A time when people can see the body, usually in an open casket, and say goodbye. Some families choose a private family viewing or none at all, and you are never required to have one.

Related: Visitation, Embalming, Funeral

Visitation

A gathering, usually before the funeral, where friends and family greet the family and offer condolences. The body may or may not be present.

Related: Wake, Viewing

VSED (voluntarily stopping eating and drinking)

A deliberate decision by a person with a serious illness to stop eating and drinking in order to hasten death, usually when suffering continues despite good palliative care. Medical writers describe it as a choice the person makes for themselves, ideally with support from a doctor and a hospice or palliative care team. It is a significant decision that can be physically and emotionally hard for the person and for the people who love them.

W

Wake

A gathering held before the funeral, historically a vigil kept with the body, often in Irish and Catholic traditions. Today many people use the word for a visitation or a get-together after the funeral.

Related: Visitation, Viewing

Will

A legal document that says who should receive your property and who should carry out your wishes (your executor), and name guardians for children. A will must meet your state's signing rules to be valid, so many people use an attorney or a reputable service.

Y

Yahrzeit

In Judaism, the anniversary of a death, according to the Hebrew calendar. Mourners often light a long-burning candle from sundown the evening before through the day itself, and say Kaddish.

Related: Kaddish, Shiva

Sources

National Institute on Aging, What Are Palliative Care and Hospice Care? - https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hospice-and-palliative-care/what-are-palliative-care-and-hospice-care
Medicare.gov, Hospice care - https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/hospice-care
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Oregon Health Authority, Death with Dignity Act frequently asked questions - https://www.oregon.gov/oha/ph/providerpartnerresources/evaluationresearch/deathwithdignityact/pages/faqs.aspx
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Britannica, Shraddha - https://www.britannica.com/topic/shraddha
Britannica, Bardo Thodol - https://www.britannica.com/topic/Bardo-Thodol
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USCCB, Anointing of the Sick - https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/anointing-of-the-sick
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Britannica, Qingming Festival - https://britannica.com/topic/Qingming-Festival
Britannica, Bon (Japanese festival) - https://www.britannica.com/topic/Bon-Japanese-festival
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Death Cafe, What is Death Cafe? - https://deathcafe.com/what/
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The Loss Foundation, Disenfranchised grief (Kenneth Doka) - https://thelossfoundation.org/stages-of-grief/disenfranchised-grief-kenneth-doka-overview/
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AVMA, A veterinarian's role in pet after-death care - https://avma.org/news/veterinarians-role-pet-after-death-care
National Geographic, Rainbow Bridge poem origin - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/rainbow-bridge-poem-pet-death-mourning-origin-revealed
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - https://988lifeline.org/
Veterans Crisis Line - https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/
Find A Helpline - https://findahelpline.com/
Merriam-Webster, Eulogy (definition and etymology) - https://merriam-webster.com/dictionary/eulogy
Britannica, All Souls' Day - https://britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/15924/All-Souls-Day
U.S. Department of Labor, Funeral leave - https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/benefits-leave/funeral-leave
California Civil Rights Department, Bereavement leave (AB 1949) FAQ - https://calcivilrights.ca.gov/wp-content/uploads/sites/32/2023/04/Bereavement-Leave_AB-1949_FAQ_ENG.pdf
Legal Information Institute (Cornell), Codicil - https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/codicil
Legal Information Institute (Cornell), Living trust - https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/living_trust
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Nolo, Avoiding probate for small estates - https://nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/avoid-probate-small-estate-29629.html
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CDC Public Health Law Program, Death investigation systems - https://www.cdc.gov/phlp/publications/coroner/death.html
CDC NCHS, Funeral Director's Handbook on Death Registration - https://Www.Cdc.gov/nchs/data/misc/hb_fun.pdf
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My Jewish Learning, Yahrzeit: Remembering on the Anniversary of a Death - https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/yahrzeit-remembering-on-the-anniversary-of-a-death/
PBS Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly, Jewish Burial Practices - https://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/?p=1794
Kansas City Hospice, Bursts of Memory - https://www.kchospice.org/bursts-of-memory/
Mayo Clinic News Network, Grief: Coping with reminders after a loss - https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/grief-coping-with-reminders-after-a-loss/
Funeral Consumers Alliance, The states that restrict caring for your own dead - https://funerals.org/?p=13356
Medicaid.gov, Hospice benefits - https://medicaid.gov/medicaid/benefits/hospice-benefits
Diocese of Portland, Mass cards and stipends - https://portlanddiocese.org/masses-loved-ones
Cleveland Clinic, Mottled skin - https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24429-mottled-skin
NYU Langone Health (Parnia Lab), Consciousness and cognitive experiences during cardiac arrest - https://med.nyu.edu/research/parnia-lab/consciousness/consciousness-awareness-cognitive-experiences-during-cardiac-arrest
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StatPearls (NCBI Bookshelf), Palliative Sedation in Patients With Terminal Illness - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470545/
AVMA, Veterinary end-of-life care policy - https://www.avma.org/policies/veterinary-end-life-care
ASPCA, Pet trust laws - https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-planning/pet-trust-laws
My Jewish Learning, Kaddish (mourning periods) - https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/kaddish/
Funeral.com, How Long Should a Eulogy Be? - https://funeral.com/blogs/the-journal/how-long-should-a-eulogy-be-typical-time-limits-and-how-to-stay-within-them

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