In crisis in the U.S.? Call or text 988. Veterans: dial 988, then press 1.

More help and resources

Funeral Speech: What to Say at Each Part of the Service

Funerals · 9 min read · First published 2026 · Updated November 2026

A microphone on a stand with a blurred room behind it
Photo by Clint Patterson on Unsplash

If you've been asked to give a funeral speech, you may not be sure what kind of speech they mean. It might be the eulogy. It might also be a welcome, a reading, a prayer, or a few words of thanks at the end. This guide walks through each part, who usually gives it, and what you might say.

Key points

  • "Funeral speech" means any words spoken at a funeral or memorial service. The eulogy is the best known, but it isn't the only one.
  • The usual speaking parts are a welcome, a reading, a prayer or reflection, a eulogy or tribute, words of thanks and a closing.
  • Who speaks depends on the faith and the family. Ask the clergy member, celebrant or funeral director what's expected.
  • Most parts take a minute or two. A eulogy often runs about 3 to 5 minutes.

Asked to give the eulogy? For a pen-and-paper way through, look for the eulogy workbook.

Funeral speech vs. eulogy

A eulogy is a speech that honors the person who died. It tells who they were, usually through stories and memories. "Funeral speech" is a wider phrase. It can mean the eulogy, but it can also mean any of the other words spoken during a service.

So if someone asks you to "say a few words," it's fine to ask, "Would you like me to give the eulogy, or something shorter, like a reading or the thank-you at the end?" For more on what a eulogy is, see What Is a Eulogy?.

The speaking parts of a funeral service

Not every service has every part, and the order changes from place to place. These are the ones you're most likely to be asked to give.

The welcome

The welcome opens the service. It greets people, says why everyone has come, and sometimes explains what will happen. It's usually given by the clergy member, celebrant or funeral director, or by a family member at a family-led memorial.

Good morning, and thank you for being here. We've come together to remember Ada, to hold her family close, and to give thanks for her life. Some of you have known her for seventy years and some for seven months, and every one of you is welcome. After the service, the family hopes you'll stay for coffee and stories in the hall.

A reading

A reading might be a psalm or other scripture, a poem, or a passage from a book the person loved. Readers are often grandchildren, siblings or close friends, which makes it a good part for someone who wants to take part but doesn't want to give a whole speech. A sentence of introduction is plenty.

My grandfather kept a worn copy of this poem in his wallet for fifty years. I'd like to read it for him now.

For readings you can use freely, see Funeral Poems. If the service is in a house of worship, ask the clergy member whether readings need to come from scripture.

A prayer or reflection

In a religious service, clergy usually lead the prayers, though a family member is sometimes asked to lead one. In a secular service, a celebrant may invite a quiet moment instead. Here are two short samples, one Christian and one secular.

Let us pray. God of all comfort, we thank you for the life of Samuel, for his kindness and his laughter. Hold his family close in their sorrow, and give us all your peace. Amen.

Let's take a quiet moment together. Close your eyes if you like, and think of one time Ada made you smile. Hold on to it. (Pause for about thirty seconds.) Thank you. Keep that memory with you today.

The eulogy or tribute

This is the main speech about the person. It's usually given by a family member or close friend, or by the clergy member or celebrant using stories the family shares. Some services have more than one. A simple opening can set the tone:

I'm Hannah, Henry's oldest granddaughter. Grandpa always said that if you can't say it in five minutes, you don't know what you're saying, so I'm keeping one eye on the clock.

For full samples, see Eulogy Examples, Short Eulogy Examples, Eulogy for Mom, Eulogy for Dad and Eulogy for a Grandmother.

Words of thanks

Near the end, a family member or the funeral director often thanks the people who helped. Keep it warm and short, and name groups rather than trying to name everyone.

On behalf of our family, thank you. Thank you to the hospice nurses, who cared for Mom as if she were their own. Thank you to everyone who brought a meal, sent a card or walked the dog this month. We noticed every kindness, and we are so grateful.

The closing

The closing ends the service. In a religious service, this is often a blessing or final prayer by the clergy member. In a secular service, the celebrant or a family member may close. It's also when people hear what happens next.

Thank you for being here to honor Ada. As you leave today, take a little of her kindness with you. The family will lead us to the cemetery, and everyone is welcome to join them afterward for lunch at [place].

Some families also set out a guest book near the door so people can leave a name or a memory.

Who usually speaks, by tradition

Customs vary widely, even within one faith, so treat this as a starting point and ask whoever is leading the service.

  • Catholic. A priest or deacon leads the funeral Mass and gives a homily about faith and hope, which the Church treats as different from a eulogy. Family and friends often do the readings. The Order of Christian Funerals allows a family member or friend to speak in remembrance before the final commendation. Dioceses set their own limits. One, for example, asks for a single speaker and about three to five minutes. A longer eulogy often fits best at the vigil (wake), the graveside or the reception.
  • Many Protestant churches. The pastor usually leads and preaches. Family members and friends often give eulogies or tributes and may read scripture.
  • Jewish. The rabbi or cantor leads the prayers and psalms and often gives the eulogy, called a hesped, using what the family shares. Family and friends may speak too, and eulogies are usually kept brief. The memorial prayer El Malei Rachamim is often sung, and the Mourner's Kaddish is said at the graveside.
  • Muslim. The funeral prayer, the janazah, is led by an imam and is short, and burial usually happens quickly, ideally within a day. The service centers on prayer rather than eulogies, and families and friends often share kind words and memories with the family during the days of condolence that follow. Ask the imam what is usual in your community.
  • Hindu. A priest and the chief mourner, often the eldest son, lead the rites, and verses from scriptures such as the Bhagavad Gita may be read. Whether family give spoken tributes varies, so ask the priest or family.
  • Buddhist. A monk, a nun or a senior member of the community may lead chanting and give a short teaching. Whether family and friends give tributes depends on the tradition and the family.
  • Secular or humanist. A celebrant, the funeral director or a family member leads. A celebrant often writes the tribute from the family's stories, and family and friends may speak as well. There's often a moment of quiet reflection.

How long should a funeral speech be?

A spoken minute is about 125 to 150 words. As a rough guide:

  • Welcome: about 1 minute
  • Reading: a sentence of introduction, plus the reading
  • Prayer or reflection: 1 to 2 minutes
  • Eulogy or tribute: often 3 to 5 minutes, and sometimes shorter in a faith service
  • Words of thanks: about 1 minute
  • Closing: about 1 minute

If several people are speaking, agree on time limits ahead of time. It's kinder to everyone, especially at a graveside in bad weather.

How to get through it

  • Write it out in full. Use large type and leave space between paragraphs.
  • Practice out loud. Read it at least three times, once in front of someone you trust.
  • Mark your pauses. Nerves make us speed up. A small mark on the page reminds you to breathe.
  • Bring water and tissues to the lectern or keep them in your pocket.
  • Choose a backup. Give a copy to someone who can step in and finish for you.
  • If you cry, stop. Breathe, look down at your page, and start again when you're ready. People will wait.
  • Find a friendly face in the room and speak to them.
  • If the service is livestreamed, look up toward the camera now and then. Tips for Writing a Eulogy has more on speaking for a stream or from a phone.

Still staring at a blank page? Work through it slowly, on paper, with the eulogy workbook.

Sources

Written by Words to Comfort

↑ Back to top