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20 Quick Tips to Help With Grief

Grief · 6 min read · First published 2005 · Updated November 2026

A person with head bowed against a pale gray background
Photo by Volkan Olmez on Unsplash

The loss of someone you love can change your life completely. Here are some simple things that many grieving people find helpful. There is no right order, and no right pace.

These tips are for any loss, including the loss of a pet. If your heart is broken over an animal who was part of your family, your grief is real and it counts.

  1. Talk with a family member, friend, someone in your faith community, or an online friend about how you feel. Sometimes the best way to work through grief is simply to say it out loud.
  1. Write a letter to the one you lost. Tell them how you feel and how their loss has changed things for you. Say what you wish you had said. Ask forgiveness for anything you regret, offer it for anything that hurt, and say goodbye. This works just as well for a pet who was your daily companion.
  1. Plant a lasting memorial. A tree or a perennial that grows bigger year after year gives you something to remember them by each time you go outside, and it can last for generations. A rose bush or a flowering shrub in a favorite spot of the yard is a lovely way to honor a pet.
  1. Make a photo album or memory book. Gather your pictures in one place so you have something to look through when you miss them. A phone photo folder or a shared online album works too, and family and friends can add their own pictures.
  1. Join a support group to talk and share with others who understand. You will get help, and you will also feel better knowing you have helped someone else. Many groups now meet online, which can be a gift on the nights you cannot leave the house. Pet loss support groups and chat rooms exist too, and no one there will tell you it was "just a pet."
  1. Support a cause that mattered to them. You might take part in a charity walk, help with a fundraiser, volunteer with a group that raises awareness, or make a donation in their name. Did they love animals or the outdoors? Many charities will gladly accept a gift in memory of a loved one. For a pet, a donation in their name to a local shelter or rescue is a sweet tribute.
  1. Read a book on grief, whether it is practical, spiritual or simply honest. grief reading list
  1. Start a hobby. Learn to knit, play an instrument, dance, paint or try something else that holds your attention. It gives your mind a rest when you give it something else to concentrate on.
  1. Take a class. Learn something new while you heal. Your local college or community center probably has something that sounds interesting, and many classes are offered online now, from languages to cooking to computer skills.
  1. Explore your spiritual or religious life. If you used to attend a church, synagogue, mosque, temple or other place of worship and no longer do, this may be a good time to return. Prayer, meditation, time in nature or quiet reflection can also be a comfort, whatever your tradition.
  1. If you feel angry or betrayed, let it out in a healthy way. Exercise, take a walk, hit a punching bag, or write in a journal. Anger after a loss is very normal, and it softens with time.
  1. Donate some of your loved one's belongings to charity when you feel ready. It can help to know that someone else will benefit. You do not have to do it all at once. The same goes for a pet's bed, toys and food. Shelters are often glad to have them, but keep whatever you are not ready to let go of.
  1. Start a project that will take some time to finish. A do-it-yourself project or that book you have been meaning to read can fill the hours when you miss them most.
  1. Help someone else. A day at a soup kitchen, food pantry, shelter or nursing home can give you perspective and a sense of purpose, and someone may need you more than you realize. Animal shelters often welcome volunteers who just want to walk a dog or sit with a cat.
  1. Do not be afraid to ask for help. If you are feeling especially low, it is fine to ask for time off work, extra help at home, or someone to listen. Tell people you are hurting and what you need. They will often respond better than you expect.
  1. When you feel ready, consider sharing your home with a pet. Loving an animal can ease loneliness and bring routine and comfort back to your days. A new pet is not a replacement for the one you lost, and it is fine to wait until you are ready, even if that takes a long while. Shelters and rescues care for millions of animals each year (about 5.8 million dogs and cats entered U.S. shelters and rescues in 2025, according to the ASPCA), and many are looking for homes. Adopting is one way to honor your loved one's memory, but only if you can care for a pet for the long run. Animals form deep bonds and suffer when they are neglected or rehomed.
  1. Make a list of the ways your loved one made a difference in your life and in the world. Remember their accomplishments, kindnesses and strengths. Pets deserve a list too: the funny habits, the favorite spots, the ways they knew exactly when you needed them.
  1. Sponsor a child or support a family in need through a reputable child sponsorship program with a monthly gift. Your gift helps provide food, education and care for a child.
  1. Visit their grave or memorial place. You can tidy the site, leave flowers or small keepsakes, and talk to them. It is okay to cry. If you scattered or buried a pet's ashes, or keep them at home, a quiet moment at that spot can feel just the same.
  1. Visit a counselor. Many counselors specialize in grief, child loss, trauma, or helping people who have lost someone to homicide. If you are having a hard time, a few sessions can help you find your footing. If your grief ever feels like too much, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, please call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.) any time. You do not have to be in crisis to ask for support. Outside the U.S., findahelpline.com lists local lines.

Sources

Written by Words to Comfort

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