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Unscrupulous Sales Techniques in Funeral Homes

Funerals · 7 min read · First published 2003 · Updated November 2026

Hands signing papers spread across a desk
Photo by Romain Dancre on Unsplash

There still isn't enough information out there for people planning a funeral. As a culture, we don't talk much about the death process, so most of us walk into a funeral home for the first time on one of the worst days of our lives. How are we supposed to know our rights? Are we all just to trust the funeral director when the time comes?

The Funeral Consumers Alliance (funerals.org) is a nonprofit that has been helping families with exactly these questions for years. Its website explains embalming, cremation, burial and pre-planning in plain language, including the things you may feel too uncomfortable to ask about. It is a good place to start if you are planning a funeral or thinking about making arrangements ahead of time. But what really happens when you sit down with a funeral home "counselor" to plan a service for someone you love?

What happened in my family

My background as a psychology student studying death and grief has opened my eyes to a lot of things. I used to work in sales, so I recognized the same emotional sales techniques at many of the funeral homes I visited through my studies, and I was shocked to see them used on grieving families. I find them barely ethical in most situations.

When my grandmother died, I saw it firsthand. After we chose a pretty, moderately priced casket, the counselor showed us a deluxe model and used the old line, "It will be your final gift to your Mom." My mother took one look at the upgraded casket, complete with a rose painted on the inside of the lid and satin lining, and said, "It just looks like Mom." That added another $2,000 to the bill. When everything was totaled, we were quickly offered financing. My mother paid on that funeral for several years, and my grandmother already owned her plot. It was the same story when my grandfather died later that year.

Your rights under the FTC Funeral Rule

The Federal Trade Commission enforces a law called the Funeral Rule. It covers funeral homes, and it gives you rights that many people never hear about. As of 2026, it says you can:

  • Choose only the goods and services you want, instead of a package.
  • Get a written, itemized General Price List to keep, and get prices by phone without first giving your name or number.
  • See the price list for caskets before you look at any caskets.
  • Buy a casket or urn somewhere else. The funeral home must accept it and cannot charge you a fee for using it.
  • Skip embalming in many situations. No state law requires routine embalming for every death, the price list must say so, and the funeral home needs your permission before embalming. Some funeral homes do require it for a public viewing, so ask about a private family viewing or refrigeration instead.
  • Choose cremation without buying a casket. If a funeral home offers direct cremation, it must offer an alternative container, such as unfinished wood or cardboard.
  • Receive a written statement of everything you chose and the total before you pay.

The Rule covers funeral homes. It does not cover independent casket sellers, and it does not cover cemeteries that don't have a funeral home on site.

Online prices are a common question. As of November 2026, the Rule requires funeral homes to share prices in person and by phone, but not to post them on a website. The FTC asked for public comment on requiring online prices in 2022, and we found no final rule as of this writing. Many funeral homes post prices anyway, and some states require more than the federal rule does.

What I learned about my options

What I've learned through the years is that we have options. For myself, I would prefer to be placed directly into the ground without embalming or preserving chemicals. At first I didn't think that was possible, and I assumed I would have to settle for the funeral industry's version of "the works," which they seem to push on everyone. That is only my personal opinion, and many families find comfort in a viewing and in embalming. But it helped me to know it is a choice and not a requirement.

One thing surprised me. It is the cemetery, not the state, that decides whether you need a grave liner or outer burial container. State law does not require one, but many cemeteries do, and the cost can add thousands of dollars. The funeral home won't always tell you that, so ask the cemetery directly. The FTC also notes that an outer burial container may cost less from a third-party dealer.

If you want something simpler and closer to nature, green burial is more available than it used to be. In a green burial the body is not embalmed, and it is placed in a simple biodegradable casket or shroud, usually without a concrete vault. The Green Burial Council's website (greenburialcouncil.org) can help you find a cemetery, and some conventional cemeteries now have a green section. Costs vary widely, so ask for prices. Green Burial and Other Natural Options

Sales pressure to watch for

A few tactics are common, and it helps to know them in advance.

  • Starting with the most expensive caskets. The FTC says the average casket shopper buys one of the first three models shown, so sellers have a reason to show higher-end models first. You can ask to see the lower-priced options, even if they aren't on display.
  • "It's your final gift" or other guilt. Love is not measured in casket upgrades. It is fine to say, "We'd like to stay with the first one."
  • False legal claims. A funeral home may not tell you that the law requires embalming, a casket for cremation, or a burial vault when it doesn't.
  • Promises about preservation. The FTC says no casket, whatever it costs, will preserve a body forever, and grave liners and vaults aren't designed to stop natural decomposition either.
  • Hurry. You are allowed to take time. You can say, "We need to think about this, and we'll call you back."

A word about life insurance

When I read about funeral costs years ago, I was surprised to learn that you can't always count on life insurance to pay for a funeral. Life insurance pays the person named as beneficiary, and only after a claim is filed and approved. That may not happen before the funeral home asks to be paid, unless the beneficiary signs part of the claim over to the funeral home in writing. If a loved one has a policy, ask the insurer and the funeral home how that works before you sign anything, and get any fees or interest in writing.

Before you go

If you are reading this in the middle of making arrangements, take a breath. You don't have to decide everything in one sitting. It can help to bring a calm friend or family member who isn't as close to the loss, to compare prices at two or three funeral homes, and to write down what you decide. The Funeral Consumers Alliance does not give financial help for funerals, but it can answer questions at 802-865-8300 or funerals.org.

The only way to get a fair deal seems to be research and education, and you shouldn't have to do it alone on the hardest week of your life.

suggested target page - How Much Does a Funeral Cost?

Sources

Written by Words to Comfort

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