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Death & Dying Reading List

Reading · 5 min read · First published 2004 · Updated November 2026

Marble busts along a library aisle of old leather-bound books
Photo by Giammarco Boscaro on Unsplash

Learning that you are dying, or that someone you love is, can be frightening and confusing. You may have so many questions that you don't know where to start. Or you may be too tired and overwhelmed to ask any of them.

A good place to start is a good book. It can be a comfort to know that other people have walked this road before you, and to hear how they faced it. These are books I would hand to a friend. Read only what feels right, and put a book down whenever you need to.

Some of these books are written from a spiritual point of view. I've said so where that is the case, so you can choose what fits your own beliefs.

Understanding what to expect

With the End in Mind: Dying, Death, and Wisdom in an Age of Denial by Kathryn Mannix (Little, Brown Spark, 2018). A palliative care doctor describes, through real stories, what dying is often like. It is plainspoken and kind, and it can ease some of the fear of the unknown. [affiliate link: With the End in Mind]

Planning ahead

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande (Metropolitan Books / Henry Holt, 2014). A surgeon looks honestly at aging, serious illness and the choices people face near the end of life. It helps you think about what matters most to you, and how to tell your family and your doctors. [affiliate link: Being Mortal]

A Beginner's Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death by BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger (Simon & Schuster). Miller is a hospice and palliative care physician. The book covers the practical side, from paperwork and money to what to say, and the heart side too. [affiliate link: A Beginner's Guide to the End]

For the person who is dying

The Grace in Dying: How We Are Transformed Spiritually as We Die by Kathleen Dowling Singh (HarperOne). Singh writes about the inner and spiritual changes many people go through near the end. She drew on transpersonal psychology and many spiritual traditions, so the book is spiritual rather than tied to one religion. Some printings carry the subtitle "A Message of Hope, Comfort and Spiritual Transformation." [affiliate link: The Grace in Dying]

Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler (Scribner). Short, warm chapters on love, loss, fear, forgiveness and time, drawn from the stories of people who were facing death. [affiliate link: Life Lessons]

Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster). A classic collection of essays on dying as part of life. One note: her well-known "five stages" were first described for people facing their own death. Today they are not seen as steps everyone goes through in order. Everyone moves through it in their own way. [affiliate link: Death: The Final Stage of Growth]

Mind of Clear Light: Advice on Living Well and Dying Consciously by the Dalai Lama, translated by Jeffrey Hopkins (Atria Books). This is the paperback of the book first titled Advice on Dying: And Living a Better Life. It teaches from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, and it is a good choice if you are drawn to that way of thinking about death. [affiliate link: Mind of Clear Light]

For family and caregivers

Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley (Simon & Schuster). Two hospice nurses share what they learned from sitting with people at the end of life. It can help you understand things a person says or does near the end, and how to respond with love. [affiliate link: Final Gifts]

The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book About Living by Ira Byock (Atria Books, 10th anniversary edition). Byock is a palliative care physician. His simple idea is that four short phrases are worth saying to the people you love, and he explains how to say them while there is still time. It is not tied to any religion. [affiliate link: The Four Things That Matter Most]

Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness by Joanne Lynn, Joan Harrold and Janice Lynch Schuster (Oxford University Press, second edition, 2011). A practical guide for patients and families, from managing symptoms to finding care and making decisions. It is still a solid reference. [affiliate link: Handbook for Mortals]

If you are caring for someone, please look after yourself too. It is allowed to rest, to ask for help, and to cry.

Sources

Written by Words to Comfort

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